3 Degrees Friendlier: 10 Simple Ways to Nurture Meaningful Connections
Friendliness is often communicated through small, visible behaviors. These are simple ways you might explore to add warmth without effort or pretense:
1. Set an Intention
Before speaking or engaging, pause and silently reflect on what you want to remember:
- “We’re are friends.
- “We belong—to each other, to life, to spirit”
- “May I meet this person with presence, interest and care.”
2. Offer a Genuine Smile
Not performative, just a softening around the eyes or mouth.
Smile whenever it feels natural. Even brief warmth changes the tone of an interaction. And if you’re not in the habit of smiling much, experiment!
A real smile helps others feel welcomed, safe and liked. And it will uplift your own mood.
3. Make Eye Contact
A few seconds longer than usual can communicate presence, interest and respect.
4. Say One Thing You Appreciate
Name something specific:
- I appreciate how you handled that.
- I can sense how much you care about...
- Your playfulness and creativity with your children is an inspiration.
Specific appreciation lands more deeply than praise.
5. Ask One Question That Goes Deeper
Instead of “How are you?” try:
- What’s been engaging your energy lately?
Or in response to them sharing something:
- What was your take away from that?
- How did that land?
- Was that challenging?
- What made you choose to…?
Curiosity signals care.
6. Listen Without Preparing Your Response
Let the other person finish.
Pause before replying.
This is one of the strongest signals of friendliness. It allows another to feel received and valued.
7. Mirror Back What You Heard
When someone has expressed something that matters to them, a simple “So it sounds like you felt…” lets people know they’re understood.
8. Offer Appropriate Touch (When Welcome)
A hand on the shoulder, a hug, or a warm handshake—only if it feels right and consented.
Touch can communicate safety more quickly than words.
9. Do One Small Act of Helpfulness
Hold a door. Follow up with a resource. Lighten someone’s load in a modest way.
10. End Interactions with Care
A simple “I’m really glad we talked” or “It was good to connect” helps people leave feeling seen.
Tara Brach, Ph.D. – www.tarabrach.com
